She had to put up with my working hours as she does with the kids' tantrums, patient and tolerant as only a wife and a mother could be. And so on her birthday, I wanted something special to say to her as I handed her present. Something, like maybe a line from a poem or a movie. Anything to let her know how lucky I am to have her.

I was trying to come up with something to say, something as romantic as "you complete me", or as impressive as "here's looking at you, kid."

Something that could make her sigh, like when Nicolas Cage bartered away eternity to be with Meg Ryan, "I would rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it."

Or something as pervasive as Harry's confession to Sally:

"I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

But there was nothing I could think of. I was trying to recall the movies that we saw together, the songs that we loved listening to. Nothing. In a bit of a panic, I simply kissed her on the lips and lovingly said, "May the force be with you."

It was nowhere near as romantic as I had played it in my mind.

Anyways. Happy birthday, hon. I love you.

And, oh, "at my signal, unleash hell."