Appellant's Brief

How To Spot A Newbie Lawyer, No. 1

You can tell that the guy next to you in the elevator is a newbie lawyer if:

  1. He looks harrassed but manages to brim with self-importance. (More senior lawyers tend to wallow in self-conceit.)

  2. He spouts legal sounding words an octave higher than the rest of his sentence. (More senior lawyers tend to trade in their legalese for better pick-up lines.)

  3. His tie is askew from carrying all those files.

  4. He jumps everytime his boss swears.

  5. His briefcase has a bulge shaped like a judge's gavel. Probably too scared to give it back to the judge after having ducked out of the way.

Pleaded by Appellant on Friday, April 28, 2006 @ 10:42 AM with 2 Objections